defeated

Today is the last lesson of fu's yamaha music class, little notes. We had decided not to enrol him for the music wonderland class, supposedly the natural progression after little notes.

When i suggested to ky that we should enrol fu for some music class, i did it with lots of enthusiasm. He loves to sing and often shakes his head rhythmically along the tempo of the song. His teachers' feedback from his montessori that he loves circle times and is always sporting further affirms my hopes that he'll enjoy the class. So naturally i did not expect his behavior in little notes.

He had been very uncooperative and had refused to participate in most activities. Week by week i tried to prep him, hanging carrots and posing threats. Week by week i thought the following week will be better. Week by week i returned, feeling disappointed, angry and saddened that hopes of his behavioural changed got dashed once again. I constantly questioned myself whether it's worth my effort to rush back from work, skip dinner, rush to change him and many times braving rain to bring him to class.

The 2x10 weeks of classes meant that i had a very good chance to stop going when the first 10weeks ended. However i pressed on by virtue that he'll sing the songs after the class and by the fact that he'll say he wants to go when being asked.

However by week 17, i raised my white flag. It was a difficult decision to make. I didn't know what else to do. Questions about his behavior are left unanswered. I have since attributed his behavior to the fact that it's a parent guided class, the main difference from his montessori class. Sigh, I feel so defeated. Totally, completely defeated.